What's in a goal?

What is the point of making New Year's resolutions when deep down inside I know I'm not willing to put in the time to accomplish it? 
That's a question I've been struggling to answer for a while now.

Maybe the real question should be Why do I rationalize my mishaps which takes me away from my goal?

Maybe it's because I have trouble with failure even at the slightest level. Maybe it's because once I see that I have failed, I believe making the situation worse is the only solution to have a clean slate?

I think so.

I know the solution. I have read, watched and been told to my face how to fix this fear of failing. But why don't I care to fix it?

Why? Because of all the goals I have set for myself, I never once believed I could make it happen. Instead of goals, I wrote down dreams. These so-called "goals" had no defined milestones, no realistic paths. Dreams with no belief of ever coming true became my "goals".

I think I have found my answer to those questions.

Well, looks like I need to write some better goals. No more "I want to get thin", "I want to look like a figure athlete", "See that Nike model? That's what I want but I'm not sure how to get there."

My goals will be:

• Eat my daily meals because they will get me to my desired body shape
• Get up from that computer chair and walk to the end of the hall

Simple goals can always be followed.

Gluten Hurts

I never knew gluten was another one of the reasons I had stomach pains after meals. I just always thought it was because I ate too much. My boyfriend and his friend was doing a 30 day challenge to avoid gluten, cheese, sugar and alcohol. I tried it for 8 days... it was rough.  I didn't have the motivation nor the willpower to continue. The more effort I put in avoiding gluten during those 8 days, the more I noticed how gluten was everywhere. On day 9, I had a sandwich. It wasn't super delicious but it was delicious nonetheless. However within half an hour, the stomach pains I experienced made me regret every bite of that sandwich. 

My new motivation is to avoid that pain forever. Luckily, I live in the Bay Area where plenty of restaurants offer gluten free choices. I also bought Elana's gluten free cupcake recipe book. I have no interest in agave nectar so honey is my substitution. 

Gluten is hard to avoid but that doesn't mean I can't have my bread or pizza crust anymore. There are many different types of flour without wheat in it. I've slowly changed my way of eating for 3 years now so I only see this as a small hurdle to get over. Anything and everything can get easier the more we practice it. 

Precision Nutrition Lean Eating Program finished!

I finished my LE program back in January. Apologizes for not posting my results earlier. I started at 136lb and ended up to 118lb. I am so proud!

I know it's been 5 months after my program ended and I'm at 122lb. Not bad, eh?

I have learned so much about what is healthy, what isn't and what really doesn't matter. Rob and I have switched around with different "diets" and workouts after January but now we're back to doing 90% Paleo and 10% cheat meals. It's great.

Also, we're not going to eat any processed sugar for a year.

:)

A new beginning

I have reached a large milestone in my life in May and I've got another one set for me in 6 months. I have joined the Lean Eating Program from Precision Nutrition. I am ready to transform my body into the one I want to have and stay that way. I am ready to learn good habits instead of telling people "Oh... well... I'm an eater.. I just eat a lot." I'm going to try to post weekly from now on just so I can keep track of where I am. My goal is to work out before work every day and use our kettlebells on the weekends when my fitness center isn't open. If that doesn't work then I will have to join another gym.

Diets I've Been Through

As my first blog post, I want to give you an idea of what types of diets I've done.

1. Velocity Diet - 2009 Feb - March
2. Warp Speed Fat Loss - 2010 January
3. The Ultimate Diet 2.0 - 2010 March
4. The Rapid Fatloss Handbook - 2010 

I'm not perfect. In fact, I'm one of the laziest people I know. I'm still working on figuring out how to motivate myself. The following are my experiences. 

Velocity Diet
One sentence description: 6 protein shakes a day for 4 weeks plus morning walks and mainly body-weight workouts. This was the first diet I've ever done in my life. I was excited but anxious on seeing how it would affect my body. Rob (my boyfriend) researched this diet through the T-Nation forums before it became popular. It assured us 7-10lb of weight loss and if we ate our daily dose of supplements, it seemed healthy enough. I personally liked it because it was very simple. Each Sunday we would bag our weekly powders in sandwich bags. I would shove my bags in my purse and drink them during classes. We bought our protein powder from All The Whey. We had flavors like Orange dreamcicle, chocolate, vanilla, strawberry and cinnamon bun. Surprisingly, orange + chocolate wasn't a bad flavor.
How I felt: I've never been good at being in tune with my body and I didn't realize how "blah" I felt until Rob mentioned it to me half way into this diet. Our libido basically became non-existent and we both felt very indifferent to things. We weren't sluggish but we definitely were not energized either.
Result: I went from 134lb down to 123lb. Rob lost over 11lbs.

Warp Speed Fatloss
One sentence description: 5 - 6 very low carb a day for 4 weeks plus weight training. I had a shake meal during my workout days. This is a great diet, each day was written out with specific things to eat and the workouts didn't kill me but challenged me. I quit after 3 weeks ( I know, I only had 7 more days to go). I really don't have any good reason for quitting, I have all the usual crappy ones: I didn't have time to do all of my workouts, it wasn't fair watching Rob eat things I couldn't eat, I didn't have time to make all of my meals. Truth is, Rob made my meals, we went to the gym together and I most definitely could have made time for my workouts.
How I felt: The first week was the hardest. I started the diet right after Christmas weekend so the forewarned carb-loss headache came full blast. After that, it was just how well did I follow the instructions. I really enjoyed the meals and I ate them just fine. As you can see from my results, I lost a lot of weight and I probably could have lost more if I did all of my workouts.
Result: I went from 131lb down to 124lb.  

The Ultimate Diet 2.0
Three sentence description: Day 1 - Day 4 are low carb days, day 4 night til day 5 is carb load days, Day 6 - 7 recover and prepare for another cycle, do this for 6-8 weeks. Rob is currently still on this diet. I stopped after 2 weeks. Because of my size, I needed to burn off 200 calories a day to see results. I couldn't do it. My excuse: I didn't have time.
The truth: I had a butt-load of time. 
How I felt: This was just another diet, I followed the meals fine and the workouts fine but I could never motivate myself to burn off my 200 calories. That's what made Rob suggest the last diet.

Result: I went from 130lb down to 129lb. I noticed my arms getting more definition though.

The Rapid Fatloss Handbook
One sentence description: crash diet with only 600 calories a day, 2 workouts a week for 2 weeks. This diet consisted of all protein, as little fat & carbs as possible. I stopped after 4 days.

How I felt: Like crap. I wasn't drinking enough water so I felt dizzy all the time. I stopped going to my classes because I felt like I was going to fall with every step I took. I refused to get out of bed and only left when I had to go to the bathroom or to get food. The reason I felt this way was completely my fault. On day 4, I got out of bed, moved around a lot more, drank the amount of water I was suppose to and I didn't feel dizzy at all.

Result: I went from 130lb down to 127lb.

I'm now on a maintenance diet. Rob is my coach and my nutritionist. We're going to start me with 1600 calories a day. By the end of this week, I'll post again with an update.